Not Freaking Out

long road

I suppose like anyone who’s quite near the start of a really long term weight loss journey, when I really stop to consider the size of the task ahead of me, it’s quite daunting. In fact, scrap that – clearly I’m trying to win today’s prize for the world’s biggest understatement…terrifying is a better word. I mean, I’m doing ok – the positive mindset has taken root, I’m standing in the sweet spot and I feel like I’ve come a long way, not to mention picking up a whole posse’s worth of company as an amazing support network. So my foundations are really solid..I can almost hear the ever-increasing sound of marching boots (and flip-flops, eh Fleury!) as more and more people fall in behind us and beside us on the road to Skinny Town…we’ve totally got this.

In terms of the size of the task though, I’m barely off the starting blocks. Right now, as documented by my encounter with the bastard in the bathroom last weekend, I need to lose 144.5 pounds. I mean, that’s a lot of pounds, right? It’s a whole other person’s worth of pounds. And I know I’m sort of breaking it down into bite sized chunks, our recent trip was my first short term goal and hitting New Year’s day as a size 22 is my next…there will be others after that.

But I’m trying to get two steps ahead of the asshole in my mind, build a solid strategy you know..? Just in case he wheels out the big guns and starts trying to freak me out by getting in my face about just how far away Skinny Town is. Several of you are much further down the road than the rest of us, and some have started from even further away and so your journey is even longer than mine. If any of you want to share your own thoughts on how you’re sidestepping the ‘freak out’ button in the face of this epic journey we could all pick out the bits that we like and line them up ready to pull on as required.

Despite being a fat girl with form – as in I’ve been up and down the sizes multiple times before – I’d struggle to articulate exactly what kept the momentum going for me in times past, because most of the diets I’ve done in my life were started with blind enthusiasm and I just hoped for the best. Twice in my grown up life I’ve sashayed through the gates of Skinny Town to great fanfare, and plenty of other times I’ve seen it on the horizon, camped in the suburbs for a while but somehow I’ve ended up heading back to Mooseville on the fucking bullet train without stepping so much as a toe over the town boundary.

I have no idea what makes the difference between seeing the journey through right to the end, and not. Each time I’ve set off it’s been from a little bit further away and that bothers me, a lot. I totally fall in line with the statistics and that offends me, given that I like to consider myself as unique. My big hairy audacious goal has to work…I don’t want to be a statistic any more. Any nuggets of wisdom would be most welcome, from those in the posse who’ve already found the secret to keeping the momentum going long term.

I’m not leaving anything to chance this time 🙂

Like it..? Tell your friends!
 

16 thoughts on “Not Freaking Out

  1. Hello, Gorgeous! I second that, [time is] “going to pass, irrespective of what we do.” We manage steps, the broken pavement, the sabotage, hiccups, what-ifs, what-next?! Whew!! But only for today. The distance to Big Hairy Audacious, practically below the horizon – we don’t manage. Not our job description! Don’t let anyone tell you to be patient. We are being audacious, selfish, headstrong. So, it becomes the background of our lives now, for -X- number of months. So be it. You had other plans, maybe?

    That said, i’m glad you undertook to write a blog!

    Step. Breathe. Repeat. Yrs, Fleury

  2. I recently started my own “just say no” campaign – as it seems like you have too. And there are certain (many) foods I can’t just have a little of. This weekend we are going to a new place downtown that has pizza (specifically gluten free pizza for my kiddo which is why we’re trying it) and my husband says “well we have to make sure there is something for you there” because he knows at this point at this moment in time I do not want to eat pizza.

    So way to go – I love your blog and we are all on this journey together!

    1. It’s great that you have such a supportive family – it’s important isn’t it, can make a world of difference. I love that you love the blog, and yes we’re all marching to Skinny Town together…it’s going to be one hell of a party when we get there!!

  3. Well, I certainly don’t have everything figured out, but what I have learned after many successful and unsuccessful trips up and down the scale is to never give up completely. I got to my goal back in 2010 and was able to stay there for about a year and a half before I started to slowly gain again. I go to Weight Watchers meetings and even while gaining weight for the next year and 1/2, I kept going to the meetings. It kept my goal in the forefront of my mind, even though I wasn’t doing much about it. This year, I was finally able to put the brakes on gaining and have successfully maintained (albeit at a higher weight) the entire year. I consider this a success story because I originally lost 117 lbs and I “only” gained 30. I have never before stopped the gain before gaining back every ounce and then some.

    Having a support system in place is really helpful. I have a friend who also does WW and she has been there this whole time reminding me that I’ve had success in the past and can do it again. You have done it before too and you can do it again.

    1. THAT’S what I’m talking about! That’s a light bulb moment for me right there.Even when you’re struggling, keep your eye on the prize instead of thinking “well I’ve blown it now” and throwing the towel in. Yes that is the definition of a victory, not to mention tenacity & determination. I’d have piled every pound back on and then some. Those thoughts have definitely helped me – thank you!!

    2. Carol that’s quite an achievement – I’ve been up and down too – good job – so impressed! That’s my new goal – to NEVER give up.

  4. You have so got this. No question in my mind. 145, 14, or 4 lbs. It all requires the same determination and mind set. Then it’s just a question of time and that’s going to pass irrespective of what we do so why not use it to get healthier? I have to practice what I preach of course. I’ve been bouncing in and out of really bad eating lately. I could blame stress, blah blah, but I am in control of this body and need to get grip. You’re inspiring me to do just that!!

    1. Well I’m glad – and you’re right, it is a matter of time. I think I need a far enough away visualisation event to hang my hat on so the goal stays within reach as the shorter milestones come and go. Working on that as we speak!

  5. My final journey began when i said to myself, the baby is eight years old, you can’t blame it on baby weight any more, you know how to eat correctly and nourish yourself, and you are going to take yourself in hand and do it. Then i challenged the inner me that always wanted the “good stuff”, meaning cookies and cake and junk, to change the definition of “good stuff” to things that nurture and nourish in the true sense.

    When that inner part of me started to see sugar as a poison instead of a reward, something that made me sluggish and fat and tired instead of energized and ready to take on the world, it cooperated.

    1. Yes I’m reading more and more about people who are banishing sugar from their diet and feeling better about it. One to keep a watching brief on possibly.Thanks hun 🙂

      1. I really think there’s something to the no sugar approach. It’s definitely my trigger substance and if I can cut it out then life is a lot easier. Sooner said that done but on my to conquer list for sure!

  6. Hi, Dee. I’ll venture a nugget, although I DON’T have anything figured out. I am a reluctant adventurer. I am that Hobbit that got more or less strong-armed into leaving my burrow at all. Trying (again!) was an exercize in skeptical irresolution, self-loathing, panic, ridicule. And like HMG said, It’s not negotiable anymore.

    But it is where we are, & where we choose to be. We still want this instead of the land of the lotus bingers.

    Look, every time you’ve sighed into bed in undisputed possession of yr halo – albeit cocked over your eye, like a movie ruffian – it is an improvement over those Shitbird taunts ringing in your brainpan + answering guilt & powerlessness.

    Just sayin’ -Fleury

  7. Ok, I’ve got big time wisdom coming at you from NY

    First, place one hand firmly over each ear. Now close both eyes and run around the kitchen in circles yelling ‘aighhhh!!!!’ [don’t step on the dog]

    Did that work?

    *Sigh* It didn’t work for me either.

    That said I simply am not looking at an end number, because I don’t see a finish line.

    Instead my ‘goal’ is to be healthy and happy. I will likely be working at it my whole life. Hopefully without too much time passing I will be looking at it from a MUCH thinner face. But I am always going to be working toward that goal.

    That said, I’m really enjoying noticing the little goals.

    When the WW thingie tells me I’ve gotten some sort of star [they totally get the positive reinforcement thing LOL].

    My jeans are getting loose. I won’t buy new ones yet, but I’m considering a belt . . .

    The rare times when I’ve made it through the day without feeling like I’m on a diet [these seem to have hormonal ties . . . thinking about this lately].

    It’s all I’ve got – hoping someone else has really great wisdom to share with us both!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *