Unsubscribe!

unsubscribe

So we see lots of things these days with an ‘unsubscribe’ button, right? I’ve got to be honest, I’m often the first to press it. I’d go so far as to say I press it liberally. Usually on the basis that I’ve received something I wasn’t aware that I’d subscribed to in the first place. I did what? I ordered one item, one time from an on-line store, and they now seem to think I need an email reminder every week in case I ever feel the need to order another one? Shoo! I don’t need that email. That email gets right up my nose.

I have a subscriber list myself, and I’m constantly checking to make sure that if anyone’s clicked the link to go cold turkey on their skinny mail, I action it straight away – I’d hate to be a nuisance to anyone. I mean don’t get me wrong…I’ve only had four of the posse unsubscribe so far but I held a little inquest with myself after each one about what might have prompted them to pack their knapsack and bid us farewell. I think that’s human nature isn’t it?

When I’d finished waving my spotted hanky and they were but a speck in the distance I read, and re-read their last post. I mean, was it a shit post? Maybe I’d offended them by using a naughty word. Maybe it wasn’t funny enough, or poignant enough, or maybe just not good enough…what if I’d crossed the line into self indulgence or just plain mardy? I had a quiet word with myself after the asshole in my mind had kicked a lot of these thoughts into play and moved on – I applied some logic. Some people come into your life for a reason…some people come into your life for a season. Maybe it’s the same with mailing lists, right..?

That said, I doubt very much that most commercial subscriber lists have an actual person who manages them…it’s probably all done by computer. But it’s really annoying when you do choose to click the button and you keep on getting mail. The worst one I’ve known is Princess Cruises…I have no hesitation in naming and shaming, since they’re practically stalking me. I managed to make the connection last time between fancying a trip and finding their website all on my own without them sending me links several times a week. Since I returned from my last trip with them in August however, I have unsubscribed at least twice a week and yet still the emails keep coming. Maybe I should start billing them for my time.

I think the asshole in my mind has a similarly ineffective unsubscribe button. He’s got a broad collection of headings under which his various newsletters sit – what I do, what I say, what I look like, what people think of me…what I wear, what I don’t do well, reasons that make cheating on my diet and falling off the wagon ok…you get the picture. I click the unsubscribe button on every one of his negative thoughts, every time, but still they keep coming.

In some respects, it plays to my stubborn streak. The more emails Princess Cruises send to me and the more they ignore my requests to stop, the less likely I would be to pick them for my next holiday, mainly because they’re getting on my last good nerve. Maybe, just maybe that’s why the asshole in my mind doesn’t seem to have the same power over me as he used to..? The volume of his junk mail got to such a point that few of his messages have landed in the last couple of months. So whilst his unsubscribe button might be on the blink, it’s fair to say that his campaign to undermine my trip to Skinny Town isn’t going well. And how much does THAT make me smile 🙂

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9 thoughts on “Unsubscribe!

  1. Dee, you really shouldn’t be hard on yourself if people unsubscribe. It’s not you. It’s just that they are probably busy…they can’t keep up with their email…or their on an “unsub” roll. I hate the repeat emails from businesses and stores. My friend tells me all the time to use two different emails…one for personal and another for purchasing. So I can get deals and coupons in my email. Problem is that I get over 100 emails / day, so it’s annoying. Sometimes I think she’s right. But changing my personal email address would take too much trouble. So, I deal.

    1. I know you’re right…I think it’s a fat girl thing though, you know? I’m so used to being encouraged by the asshole to judge or blame myself, it’s difficult to not assume it’s because of something I did! I’m going to write about that very thing later 🙂

  2. oh?! Not possible. Someone must have been clearing 800 clogging, unwelcome e-mails (including responses to my apparent applications for a bigger peter!), & just poked their Begone button. …Or else they were trolls & suddenly realized they were not on a site for ordering home delivery of Skinny Girls.

    Cool, that the irksome realities of the internet have helped you apply a really strong elbow to the leering Asshole in your head.

    Loving it, Fleury

      1. Yes, yes. The world is weird!! Cherie gave me a lightning flash about negative messages (internal) being exactly like pestilential pop-ups that we can build a wall against. F.

  3. AWESOME! So true – it’s really about putting up a wall between you and the negative thoughts, because they’ll probably be popping up forever.

    Kind of like when you were a kid and you’d get a thought about a monster under the bed, and get scared – but eventually you could cope with it and sleep soundly 🙂

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