I’ve been working from home today – I’m very lucky in that respect, when I have no face to face meetings in my diary the type of work I do means I can be just as productive sitting at the little desk in my kitchen as I am in the office. More so, sometimes – I am blessed with more than my fair share of curiosity and I’m very easily distracted. The minute a juicy conversation unfolds in our office my ears tune in of their own accord and drag me away from whatever I’m working on.
So anyway, I’ve just switched off, and I’ve had a much better day than I’d expected to have. When I came down into the kitchen this morning, I took one look at the table and immediately groaned…I might have even said a bad word under my breath. The first thing that greeted me were ten boxes of chocolate biscuits in a big stack, right next to my desk. Recalling times past, I immediately made the assumption that I’d be fighting all day with the asshole in my mind.
Do you want to know how much time I’ve spent resisting temptation..? None. Not a single minute of my day. I mean, I didn’t even really need to flex my willpower muscle you know? It’s like they weren’t even there. I’m more than a little bit baffled. I mean I know that technically they’re not mine, I’ve bought them for my mum to give to the lovely ladies who take such good care of her. But lets be honest, that’s never stopped me in the past.
For example, there have been times when I’ve gone through my boy’s Easter Egg stash like a swarm of locusts and then replaced them all before he noticed, and times when I’ve had to make a nifty detour go buy another Daim cake because I’ve vaporised the one in the fridge that I bought for ‘the family’ during a particularly traumatic episode of Grey’s Anatomy and I didn’t want to have to explain where it’d all gone.
My willpower is an elusive frankly quite strange and bloody annoying phenomenon. Some days it’s completely locked and loaded, and nothing’s getting through. It’s like the fun police you know? Other days it lets me down big time and without warning by throwing open the door and letting every temptation through without a fight. Take yesterday for example. Epic fail on the willpower front, massive.
Don’t get me wrong, my food choices were all fine, my diet integrity is all intact. The same can’t be said however about resisting the urge to indulge in a little bit of leather love. I made a promise to myself about not buying any more handbags until I’d saved up enough for the new bathroom I am desperate to get installed. Six months I’ve held out with no impulse buys, SIX MONTHS! I fancied a quick mooch on my favourite re-sale site, you know just to have a look…yes, well that never ends well does it? I was still trying to kid myself I was window shopping as I completed checkout. Hello???
Still. If I’ve only got so much willpower to use up equally on all the areas of my life where I need to behave, I’d rather spend it resisting a hob-nob over a handbag any day…and it is Christmas after all. A little bit of birthday money went towards it, and you know what, I’ve been a good girl this year.
Happy Christmas to me, with love from me…I deserve it, right?
Grey’s Anatomy does have particularly traumatizing episode that you really can’t shake, doesn’t it??? I would eat 1/2 gallon of ice cream at one sitting of Grey’s… I knew I liked you for a good reason!!
So, the handbag is understandable. Good for you for resisting the cookies, but the handbag, eh, so what. I mean, I bought myself the more gorgeous black pumps this week because I wanted to wear them with my new dress. I didn’t need them, just wanted them. I love them. Shoes are my weakness. Keep me away from The Shoe Depot!!! I had to laugh about the Easter candy, because for us, it’s Halloween candy that’s our weakness. :-/
Yes, more than once I have bought a bag of sweeties ‘for the kids’ at halloween then ‘not heard’ the doorbell (or the dog going berserk!) whilst I sat and ate them in my armchair!! And congrats on the shoes, I bet you’ll look awesome 🙂
From what i understand in the research, we do only have so much willpower, then the “muscle” gets tired. So does the decision making “muscle.”. That’s why it’s easier to build up a habit and let habit carry you through in certain situations.
Happy Christmas, enjoy the bag!
Oh I will Mimi! Happy Christmas lovely 🙂
Well done, Dee. You’re willpower is amazing. At the moment mine isn’t although it has been in the past and I know it will be again, especially if I stick around with you and the posse.
We had a tub of Cadbury’s Roses – I’m horrified to say that I secretly ate and replaced it 4 times, and the last one I bought cost me a parking fine as well! I might as well have bought a handbag. The madness and misery of it all.
On 23 December last year I was the skinniest I’d been for many many years. Shame I couldn’t keep it off, the asshole in my head has just been too loud and I’ve rolled over too easily. However, on the bright side (ha ha), I’ve learnt two lessons: 1) being thin is fabulous, but it doesn’t make all the other shit go away – we still have to deal with life. 2) I have to monitor my food intake for the rest of my life or I’ll just put it all back on again and again and again etc. I am committed to losing my fat.
I love your blog, Dee, thank you so much. Merry Christmas,
Barbara x
Aw thanks, and of course you’ll get there again…the timing just has to be right and you’ll hit the sweet spot. Did you read the BHAG post..? I’ve also realised I’m going to have to count points for the rest of my life if I’m to have even half a chance of taking up residence in SkinnyTown permanently and you know what, I’m kind of cool with that, I’ve made my peace with it now, after all these years of yo-yo madness.Once I get there this time Barbara, I ain’t moving! Merry Christmas to you too 🙂 D x
Well, I am dying to know… Which bag did you buy?
I think that is perfect willpower- save the money usually spent on ‘treat ‘ food all in one go, on a lovely bag
Ahhh…are you a bag lady too? It’s my weakness! I bought a Chanel WOC in bright red with the embossed camellia pattern, which to be fair has been on my wish list for ever pretty much 🙂 Pre-loved, of course but I’m very excited! D x