Powered By Mad

scooter

So I appear to have inadvertently discovered the most effective type of fuel yet to galvanise this fat old body into action…the trick seems to be getting really really mad. I mean, like really mad. Having a complete hissy fit and wanting to put someone’s lights out kind of mad.

It all started this morning when I woke up with a sore knee. There’s nothing particularly unusual about that, my knee has been dodgy ever since I dislocated it in the process of shuffling my 300lb body sideways to get into the window seat on a flight a couple of years ago. Yes, that did hurt, a lot.  And it put a crimp in the last few days of what had been a memorable trip around the States with my boy. New York is less fun than it might otherwise be when you’re struggling to walk with your knee in a brace.

Anyway I’m fairly used to the constant toothache in my knee, although to be fair it’s actually getting a little easier now I’m on my way down the scale. What really pushed my buttons this morning was the way that before I’d even had the chance to formulate the thought ouch, and stretch it a bit the Asshole voice was all over it.

Ooohh that doesn’t feel good. It’s all this exercise, obviously bad for you and you should stop, immediately, before your leg is damaged beyond repair. Have a day off today, don’t go near that cross trainer because it’s clearly doing more harm than good. Stay in your armchair,and show yourself a bit of TLC. Tell you what, why don’t you try and limp to the supermarket and get some cheese balls, it’ll be like old times…

At the same time he was chewing my ear I was reading an email from the company who I bought my new bag from just before Christmas, who were responding to my enquiry as to when I might expect to receive it. Given that it passed quality control over a week ago but hasn’t been despatched yet, their sentence inviting me to be patient got right up my nose. The straw that broke the camel’s back..? When I closed my laptop and reached over to the bedside table to pick up my glass of water and instead managed to knock it off and into my slippers. Looking back, it’s funny, but seriously, in that moment I completely lost the plot.

I half stomped and half hobbled across the bedroom and got on that hurt machine, chuntering under my breath the whole time. I didn’t even swing past the bathroom for a quick wee first, and excuse my indelicacy but it seems that a full bladder and a bad attitude is the way to go.

I was so busy telling the Asshole voice where to shove his cheese balls, and how despite his best efforts to sabotage my resolve I had no intention of spending the rest of my days traversing life from the comfort of a fat-friendly mobility scooter, I didn’t even notice the minutes mounting up. My eyes were out on stalks when I realised I’d done nine minutes, and I  immediately thought fuck it, if I can do nine I can do TEN, stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Asshole. 

So I did.  No quitters here, right?

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14 thoughts on “Powered By Mad

  1. I hate starting the day off like that. Good for you that you got in 10 minutes, you tell him!
    A year ago I was in pain with my left knee 24 hours / day, 7 days / week. It was awful. I had surgery scheduled for January 23 so the doctor could get a better look because the MRI wasn’t showing anything definitive. Long story short, I had a new trainer and he had me work on flexibility and mobility with my hips and legs. Within a month of training with him, the surgeon cancelled the surgery. “No need, but you need to lose more weight. And, no weight training either. You’ll injure yourself.” I was soooooooooo happy that the surgery was cancelled, but HUGELY mad at him about the dig. Here I am doing something to help myself and he tells mt to not do it AND I had lost about 45 lbs. at that point and he’s telling me to lose more. Ass.

    I can’t really describe the stretches I did to help my knee, but I could send you a link with some pictures or youtube videos if you’re really interested. I’m telling you, it saved me. And the knee does act up here and there, but I know how to care for it, so there is no pervasive pain.

    1. Tracey, a link would be great…I can put it in my interesting stuff page and anyone in the posse with a sore knee might find it helpful too! Cheers hun, and yes that surgeon sounds like a fool 🙂

  2. Congratulations! But let me put in a word of caution here, as someone who has definitely aggravated injuries in a manner than set me back farther than was necessary. First of all, get some arnica for that knee, and begin to ice it after exercise of any sort. I have one of those gel things in my freezer and use it religiously when I’ve got an owie.

    You are definitely doing all the right things. And probably the biggest benefit I’ve given my bum knee is to have fewer pounds to carry around on it. I read somewhere that for every extra pound, a knee translates that pound to four going up stairs. So you are on your way not only to Skinny Town, but to freedom from that pain as well!

    Off to vote. 🙂

    1. An OWIE!! Love it, I have adopted that word immediately 🙂 Thanks Djan, it’s a little easier today I’m glad to say! D x

      1. HAH, that’s right…. Hey Darlin’ I voted! As I root around in the tool kit Santa brought me, I’ve popped in the graphic at the top of yr post! …Dammed if I’ll willingly spend any remaining years (?) on a scooter, either. Love, F

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