Keeping Off The Grass

button

Not a chance, right? Have you met me? After having a quick look around to make sure I’m not standing on a trapdoor I’d have to, I’d be all over it. I mean wouldn’t you..?

I often think that I have a surplus of curiosity running through my veins, so not pressing something that says don’t press me isn’t really an option. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an adrenaline junkie, far from it, especially these days. And I don’t even like breaking the rules, not really. I’m a bit of a fanny in that regard, I guess I don’t like getting told off.

No, the thing that would get me about that button is that I don’t know what would happen, if I pushed it. Not knowing would push my buttons, and I’d start to obsess about it. My desire to conform would be overtaken at some point by my need to know.

I’d drive myself nuts thinking about every possible scenario and what might happen if I pressed it. I’d even wonder whether someone put it there as sort of a double-bluff and maybe there’s a massive reward for the one person who has the balls to press it. As someone who generally keeps off the grass if there’s a sign telling me I should, I find the thought of describing myself as someone who likes to break the rules strangely compelling, because it makes me sound a bit cool, you know? A rebel if you like.

And that’s so not me. But I’d still have to push that button.

Except…if someone switched out the label for one that read ‘self destruct’ that’d be a whole other ball game, kind of like my very own ‘keep off the grass’ sign for buttons. See I know what happens when you push that button. It’s a button I’m familiar with, in fact if you found a self destruct button and dusted it for fingerprints, I guarantee mine would be all over it. I sometimes think that I’ve got so used to standing with my finger on it that I don’t even notice any more.

I’ve thought a lot about this today. I can’t think of a single other example ever of me going up the scale by one pound without blowing my diet off completely out of sheer bloodymindedness because I’ve ruined it so what’s the point of carrying on, really? I was worried yesterday, just for a moment because I know my default reaction to an unexpected gain…it’s not pretty. And that pound would’ve easily turned into five pounds, and then ten, at warp speed.

Which is why I’m so grateful for Sunday’s clean day, long walk and penance on the hurt machine before bed. I’m grateful that yesterday I ate man crisps and pointed them with my battery-powered thingamabob, and still ate a healthy supper. And I’m happy that today I managed to find a 45 minute window in the middle of my working day to go out and walk in the fresh air.

I know where the self-destruct button is, and I walked away. I mean it was there, all red and shiny but I could clearly see ‘self destruct’ etched around the outside of it, and I chose to keep off the grass and carry on doing my thing, and do it better than I did last week. I’m not even rattled, not one little bit. One foot in front of the other, and repeat.

That, my friends is progress.

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10 thoughts on “Keeping Off The Grass

  1. If I saw a sign that said, “Keep off the grass,” I would do exactly that. I like to walk my dog and I won’t let him walk on people’s grass because I don’t want him to doodle on it. He can “go” in the street and I will pick it up. But I don’t want him messing up someone’s lawn..not to mention, I don’t know what chemicals are on their lawn that would possibly hurt him. But if I saw a red button that said, “Don’t press this button again,” I would most certainly press it. I’d be all over it. If it said, “Self-Destruct” I probably would stay away, but usually the self-destruct signs say something else. they say things like, “Eat this cookie (or three or ten) and you’ll feel so much better.” Or they says, “You don’t have to go to the gym today, you’re tired.” Or they say other, less obvious things. I feel like food, for me, is a constant battle. I have to watch what I eat, how much I eat, and monitor the scale. It’s a lifelong process. I know I can never go back to just eating whatever, whenever. I’m in it for life. And yes, sometimes I will screw up. But like you’re post today…I’m going to pick up the pieces when I drop them.

  2. My “slip ups” always became “give ups.” These past 3 years that I’ve kept off 40 pounds (the third time in my life that I’ve lost more than 30 pounds), I have used that idea as a mantra. THIS TIME, I will not allow a slip up to turn into a give up. I’m 50! I have 15 more pounds to go and while, I’m frustrated that I didn’t make goal in Weight Watchers in 2013, I’m blessed that I haven’t gained. So I’m pointing just like you and ready for Skinny Town. Thank you so much for your blog.

    1. Hi Dale, lovely to meet you – I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog and congratulations on keeping 40lbs off, that’s awesome! Good luck with the twilight part of your journey…I’m so envious of you being so close, but save me a seat in Skinny Town, I’m coming! 🙂

  3. Monstrous progress and the key to success.

    I need to get me one of those buttons – just so I can walk away from it LOL

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