For those of you that have been following the blog for a while, you’ve probably started to get the measure of me, right? You’ll know that I’m a perfectionist whose buttons get well and truly pushed when something’s not exactly as I want it to be. And this week has got right up my nose. I think, because it started badly.
I felt wrong-footed, if you know what I mean. Normally, I unpack every shiny new Weight Watchers week with reverence, sort of take it out of the box on a Sunday morning after my encounter with the bitch in the bathroom and admire its shiny newness. I get excited about the way I might spend my points, in the way that we all feel just after payday when the coffers are replenished and we can stop flirting with the overdraft.
When I actually used to go to fat class instead of the on-line programme that I’m doing now, I was never one of the ones who sprinted out of the Weight Watchers meeting and headed directly to the chippy. There were plenty of folk who used to do that, they even had a look-out system going in case the leader drove past on her way home and saw them all inside. Like she didn’t know.
These were the same folk who queued up for a wee immediately before weigh-in to make sure they weren’t carrying a single ounce about their person that could be shed before standing on the scales. But when it came to their chippy tea immediately after class, well they had a whole week to get rid of the evidence you know?
Me, I sort of do it the other way around. I like knowing that I’ve got points in the bank so to speak. I can draw on them if I need to but I’ll eke them out as long as possible so I don’t ever feel cornered by the realisation that I can’t have whatever no matter how badly I want it because I’ve got nothing left to buy it with. It’s kind of damage limitation, because if I’m points poor, the cravings are ten times more powerful when they hit.
I’m exactly the same with money. I spend far more in week three or four of the month than I ever do in week one or two, so I don’t have the stress of worrying that I might run out…I like to get a couple of weeks in, see how the month’s shaping up you know? If the shit hasn’t hit the fan by week three I might indulge in a little retail therapy.
This week, my throw-caution-to-the-wind-because-the-bitch-upset-me-again decision to eat a family bag of Maltesers on day one of my shiny new week put a serious hole in the number of extra weekly points I’m allowed and I’ve had to dance around every other single tasty morsel this week giving extra care to how I spent my smart points.
Because I started the week off wrong by front-loading my food budget, it’s like my worst case scenario has played on a loop all week. I fancy a bit of that – how many points – really that many? – can’t afford it – can’t have it then – want it though – forget about it – REALLY want it now, AARGH! I’m sure you know exactly what I mean.
Still. Just because the week had a bad start doesn’t mean it has to have a bad finish, right? I’ve reached Friday night with one weekly point remaining in the bank, my daily points still nailed on and a shiny new week waiting for me on Sunday morning.
I have a friend coming over tomorrow night for a hot tub and a long-awaited catch-up, and I’ll need to steer clear of the prosecco, which is where my weekly points should have been spent…but I can’t spend them twice so I’ll just have to suck it up and learn another one of these thorny little lessons.
They all move us forward, right?
ps…we have a brand new guest post today courtesy of Autumn…she tells her story beautifully, and you can check it out HERE. I made a new page to host our Guest Spot archives too, it seems a shame to rub them out!
