Hasn’t it been a gorgeous day today..? I’ve been too busy at work to enjoy much of it but I did nip out at lunchtime and it was glorious. Everyone I saw looked very summery and rumour has it this warm snap is going to continue over the weekend. So, on the face of it that’s awesome, and as it happens I’m away this weekend so even better. Except. Despite losing a chunk of weight I’m still not really built for a summer wardrobe.
Actually there’s no not really about it…I’m not, period. Summer wardrobes involve light fabrics and floaty little numbers which do absolutely nothing to try and fool the world at large that underneath these clothes I am in fact a size twelve.
Drawing on years of fat experience, I’ve found that black pants and a longish loose-fitting top with some sort of handkerchief hemline is the most effective ensemble when it come to disguising the worst of my lumps and bumps. My wardrobe is full of such items, and to be fair, whilst they don’t leave anyone under the illusion that there’s skinny action going on underneath, I don’t feel exposed, you know? I’m reasonably comfortable, like I’m making the best of a bad job.
So it’s not really the tops I’m worried about. It must be twenty years since I did sleeveless, and probably six or seven since any flesh above the elbow saw the light of day but lot of mine have three quarter sleeves and that’s practically arm naked in my book so I’ve sort of got summer covered for my top half.
The bottom half is a completely different story. I feel like a complete tool wearing black trousers on a hot sunny day, but it’s literally all I possess in my fat wardrobe. I mean I have a variety of them…black pinstripe for work (three pairs which have been worn in rotation for at least the last two years Monday to Friday) and plain black the rest of the time. And generally it works fine, except when it’s seventy odd degrees outside and everyone else has got their legs out for the summer…I feel completely out of place, like a proper numpty.
Skirts are not an option until I’m at least another two or three dress sizes down from here. I have horrible memories of severe chafing incidents and I’m not risking that…once it’s there even trousers don’t stop the burn, right? So it has to be pants. The warm weather has kind of caught me unawares, I thought I could give it another month before I needed to worry about a summer wardrobe. Bugger.
I seem to remember buying some elasticated navy palazzo pants with white spots on for the cruise last summer but they made me look like Coco the clown so I never wore them. Maybe I’ll try and dig them out from wherever I flung them in disgust and see whether almost seventy pounds off makes me look less like I’m missing a red nose and a hat with a flower.
On a slightly more positive note, whilst I was walking around Marks and Sparks this lunchtime I did have to keep pulling up said black pinstripe pants…I’m not filling them quite as well as I once did, and they are very stretchy so they’ve kind of flexed with my shape but pretty soon they’ll be consigned to the old life pile. Happy days.
This time next year I will be embracing every single sunny day, and telling you all about how awesome it felt to blend in…I can’t wait 🙂
I’m all about Capris. Did you seriously say you are a Size 12? If that’s the case, girl, show off the flesh. Seriously, a size 12 is hot momma, if you ask me.
I buy myself three – four pairs of capris with matching interchangeable tops to get me through the spring and summer. I have a couple polos to wear, a couple dressy blouses and some v-neck t-shirts. Mix and match, throw in a couple dresses and grab some sandals that won’t kill my feet. Then you’re all set.
No Tracey, I wish! I was trying to be funny…I’m almost in a size 20 but this time next year I’m aiming for a 12!! I love Capri pants and in preparation for our trip this week I bought two fat-girl versions which are taking a bit of getting used to but in this hot weather I’m glad to have them. One pair in stone and one in white…Fleury you’d be proud!
Hi Dee, I’m with Margaret! Leggings are a girl’s best friend. A longer shirt that covers the bum, flats in the summer, boots in the winter. They are stretchy so they cover a multitude of sizes, and sins. And I HATE stores. I buy things online and just cross my fingers that they’ll fit. If I get too close to the regular ladies section I’m afraid someone will try to escort me back to Plus Sizes.
On-line shopping is definitely the way to go. What about that moment when you accidentally stray into a store that doesn’t have plus sizes…the assistants look at you like you’ve walked into their house on Christmas day and pissed on their kids 🙁
I know! I had a skinny mini once tell my hubby at this lame trendy hipster store that, “They didn’t really have much to fit someone his size. Maybe he should try the relaxed fit jeans.” The poor guy has a 36 inch waist. I can only imagine what would have happened if I would have asked her for something to fit me. She would have needed to be resuscitated. I actually told my hubby, “We need to leave, she doesn’t want us in here, she thinks we’re dragging down the coolness of this store!” She didn’t argue. So now every time we walk by the silly place which is always empty, I try to embarrass him by announcing loudly, “Don’t go in there, remember, they don’t want you in there!”
Ha that’s funny!
I wear Jockey Skimmers under my skirts. I did the think bike shorts before I discovered these. They are wonderful and so much better than pantyhose. I live in Florida and although it gets buggery humid, we can forgo the hose for bare legs. It is the only thing that keeps me sane.
Jockey skimmies! I just had to google them, and who knew such garments existed 🙂 🙂 🙂 Amazon here I come ! God, I LOVE you lot, you guys know everything 🙂
Oh chafing. The bane of summer. If I wear a skirt or a dress to a formal event it has to be with leggings underneath, even in summer. I actually wear shorts a lot, but looong short. They have to cover the knee fat even when I’m sitting down. It depends on your leg shape, but my lower legs aren’t nearly as bad as the upper half so I’m ok with my several pairs (including denim), preferably with the longish shirts with half sleeves you mentioned above. I hate being hot so much I’m willing to bare my calves.
Ah you see that’s good…sadly I have calves like a shot-putter so I’m wary about shorts. I mean, on holiday is okay but around here I’m not so sure!
Heya Dee; love the blog!
What we do here in California, where it’s summer a lot, is leggings in all colors and patterns – white, blue, spider web, and black of course- under a sporty type skirt that hits above the knee in a contrasting color. It’s a flattering shape and solves the chaffing problem. With ballet flats if you haven’t gotten a pedicure, or open sandals if you have. Happy sunshine! xoMargaret
Well that’s a novel idea!Hmmm…
These are interim pants you are looking for, they will not be permanent residents. Even so, i hope you find something you can actually enjoy living with temporarily.
Ha interim pants! Great way of thinking about them!
My best friend wears biker’s shorts under skirts to prevent the chafing. Myself, I wear lots of capris in the summer. Covers the worst of the blah, but I still at least look like I’m dressed for somewhat warmer weather. Good luck clothes shopping – the bane of my existence.
Isn’t it ever Terri…I usually grab a handful of stuff and just buy it on the basis that I can return it if it doesn’t fit…changing rooms are not for me!
You’re gonna bust laugh! But: how many of the Posse own a pair of white pants that LOVE them. I see these on other big women all the time, they are amazing!
The PTB (Powers That Be), have slyly kept us disinformed… Like, no french sailor jerseys, no colors, no capri’s, no nothing. We’re consigned to vertical designs, & more black than a nunnery.
Worn with the fun top, or crisp geometrics or the RIVETING gem-like solid color, you can show off a pair of long summery pant legs. Ta-da! It looks so pulled together, and Girl, denim is better than lycra!
Blimey Fleury I can’t picture my arse in denim…I think that might well be a crime against humanity! I think I might need to go pants shopping after work tomorrow. JOY 🙁 I’d be much more excited at that prospect if I was a couple more sizes down!!
Heeheehee, ‘oh joy oh rapture.’
I knew you’d be thunderstruck at the mention. I await more of our cohorts to chip in. But hellloo! It’s time to start scouting in stores.
*screws face up* yeh.