I don’t know about you but these dark and cold mornings are not supporting my efforts to get up and out of bed with any kind of enthusiasm, especially when I’ve booked into an early morning exercise class. I must have laid in bed for twenty minutes or more yesterday trying to think of an excuse why going to box-lite was a bad idea.
It’s a good job I came up blank otherwise that snooze button would’ve been pushed with indecent haste. But I couldn’t help thinking, as I drove to the Kingdom of Pain how draining it is every day to have the same debate with myself on a loop. I should go – I don’t want to go – I need to go – I’ll go tomorrow instead – can’t, won’t finish work on time – I could book in and then say I’m stuck in traffic – stop being ridiculous, I’ll enjoy it once I get there…on and on and on. Every time.
Why do I do that? I do enjoy it when I get there, and I enjoy the feeling afterwards. It’s just the thought of going in the first place that puts a spanner in the works. And that doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, let’s imagine for a second that I was going to the cinema, which I also enjoy. I wouldn’t have to steel myself to get off my arse and go, would I? And the cinema doesn’t even leave me with a surplus of endorphins to make me feel good. Well, unless Hugh Jackman’s in the movie, obviously. *Leers*
I can’t think of any other example of anything where I like doing it but try my best to come up with reasons not to do it. Other things which I don’t especially enjoy doing, like housework, or supermarket shopping just happen without this ridiculous negotiation with the asshole voice, so what is it about exercise that makes it different..? The long standing hatred of getting off my arse which I’ve harboured all my life is clearly more deeply engrained than I realised.
I don’t hate exercise now, but my mind is taking quite a lot longer than my body to cotton on to that fact and get with the programme…I went from hating it, to being irritated by the fact that I had to do it (and just getting on with it through gritted teeth) to the point where I am now…I appreciate the opportunity to poke those endorphins and feel like I’ve earned my tired. And yet. I still have to negotiate with myself before I can bring myself to to pull on my stretchy pants and go work out.
Is it just me? If you want to tip the contents of your own head out and share any insight you may have as to how I can flick the switch from let’s discuss this to let’s go, well that would be awesome. I often hear people say yeah well that’s non-negotiable, and that’s what I want to get to, you know? That place where working out is non-negotiable instead of it being up for debate every single fucking time.
Thoughts?
This happens to me, too, and i think for me it’s because i always consider exercise to be punishment.
I think I always used to, but not so much now you know? That’s why trying to dodge it puzzles me.
Yeah. Yeah: like “housework or supermarket shopping,” maybe over a lifetime of distinctly sedentary pursuits, I didn’t train myself to get exercise done. Daily showering. Dental hygiene. Working a full-time job.
It’s late in life to become a thin [thinner!] woman, but I think my substitute for repetitive negotiating, is to marry it to another mindless autonomic routine: morning shower. Given that i choose to get my base r.d.a. of cardio on an exercise bike in the privacy of my home, AND given that I get it done in an hour that’s so early, no one can often impose any claims on it.
Disputes on my continuing commitment to this, have only hardened up my selfish resolve to get eating and weight under control.
Hey lady, there’s nothing selfish about the resolve to do this! But how much nicer would it be to be able to get on with it without having to dance around the houses and end up locked in dispute with my self!
I have the same mental fight every, single time too and it baffles me. Because I need to exercise–weight, menopause, sleep, and on and on. It’s not optional and yet.. always… the voice… go later, you can skip… Why does this voice hate me??
My only theory centers around the power of immediate gratification. If I sit on my buttocks and drink coffee, I will be immediately happy. (This is not true, but for some reason I believe it.) If I put on my running shoes and drag myself two miles through the dark morning air, huffing and puffing, I will be happy I did it–but only AFTER. Obviously, a person who wants to be happy NOW will pour coffee and sit down.
Trying to paraphrase what’s in my head. I think it has to do with IMMEDIATE gratification. I had this battle in my head this morning–so this is a news bulletin from the front line.
(P.S. I ran the two miles.)
Good for you on the two miles – it’s coming across loud and clear that I’m in good company – how bonkers is it that we all do this? But how much better do I feel knowing that it’s not just me 🙂
I suspect it’s the get-out-of-bed that’s the issue, more than the exercise. It is tough in the winter to get out out of that nice warm bed into a cold dark morning. On days when I am not enthusiastic I have had good luck telling myself that exercise is like brushing my teeth – non-negotiable. It isn’t necessarily a thrill every time, but it is something that has to be done.
The only way I’m getting there Mary is by forcing myself to just crack on and do it. Usually after arguing with myself for way too long first!
If you get it figured out, please let the rest of us know. I HATE the negotiations!
Haha not just me then Sheri 🙂
I don’t think I could stand to exercise first thing in the morning either. I know some people don’t have a choice to do it at a later time in the day.
I don’t know how to tell you to “learn to like” exercising. I have been doing this since 1997 and there are still days, times when I don’t like it. However, I know my future self is counting on me to take care of my body now today! I make bargains with myself sometimes to get myself to do my workout that day. Like I will say you only have to walk for 10 minutes if your still hating it you can stop. Usually I keep going. I think maybe the secret sauce is I do exercise I like that is easy and doesn’t hurt my 52 year old body, and I change it up when I get bored.
I hope my ramblings help. Honestly, though it doesn’t matter right now whether you learn to love exercise just that you do it. Its good for you like eating your vegetables. LOL
PS It took me about 6 months of exercising back in the day to learn to like it. I am sure others will be along with their wisdom.
There’s the thing Susan – strictly speaking I don’t dislike exercising. I love my boxing class, the friends I’ve made there are fabulous and we laugh a lot, in between the hurting. But I still find myself looking for excuses not to go, you know? I’m conflicted!
Hi Dee,
This is a very fundamental question.
Do we face the asshole voice and try to understand the true meaning of its message, or do we force it in a soundproof box made of our non-negotiable rules.
Both are possible and nothing is right or wrong.
But as you realized for yourself, it takes a lot of effort and support to stick to non-negotiable rules.
As I can only talk about myself, I would say, going to the movies is good to my soul and has nothing to do with my body. But when it comes to be good to my body, giving it the food it needs, exercising it, respecting it, it doesn’t work at all. I experiment STRONG resistance. I have to understand why I am at war with my body to eventually make peace with it.
my 2 cents
I’m starting take heart once again from all of you Veronique – so many of us face the same struggles. There’s power in numbers and I guess knowing that you all have the same debate over and over helps me feel a bit stronger when I hold the mirror up to myself!
it’s me – Fleury Knox – Dee, you wield a good mirror, strong light. Your negotiations, are a movie camera, Girl, an exact reenactment of my daily tap dance. WTF!
Some of us grow to like the Exercise pill… some know full well it will only seem welcome in retrospect. You have LIKED that your phys. ed. has freed you from hating/sitting out activities, outings, revelry – which used to be exhausting.
Add to that, it makes an eating plan WORK. No more manicured mom with an amphetamine prescription and a pack of Marlboros.
Can’t help, sorry.
I know a married couple who don’t have set jobs around the house; every time anything gets done at home it’s a negotiation. Who did it last time, who cares more, whose mother it is visiting so the house has to be cleaned. I think that sounds exhausting! I’m not saying housework gets done easily in our house, but when we need to swing into action we basically know who does what and we do it.
I’m sure that was no help at all. Just agreeing with you that negotiation, whether with someone else or with yourself, can make tasks harder rather than easier. So if you find the path to “not negotiable” land, let me know.
It’s weird isn’t it – jobs around the house that I dislike get done without me thinking long and hard about them…I certainly don’t spend hours thinking creatively about how I might get out of doing them. They have to be done and that’s that. I wouldn’t go out in an un-ironed shirt, yet I’ll go out in an un-ironed body. Go figure!