Do you know what I realised yesterday, as I sashayed out of the bathroom after another positive encounter with the Shitbird Scale? I’ve only got 5lbs to go before I’m back down to the lowest weight I achieved last year, you know right before I lost my way and started dicking around? The last time I weighed in at 250lbs was right back at the beginning of October when I was on my way back up the scale from my lowest weight on this journey, at 245lbs. I’ve got to be honest, I’m on a mission. I want those five pounds out of my pants in the next two weeks.
My friend got a massive fit of the giggles last night when we talked about the monster I’ve created by posting my conversation with the Shitbird Scale on here every Sunday…almost two hundred and fifty people logged on and checked out my weigh-in page yesterday. I mean that’s just mind-blowing, right? How could I possibly put a foot wrong, when so many of you take time out of your day to keep a watching brief on my journey, and check-in especially just to audit my number?
I live in fear that the scale is going to throw a hissy fit and move in the wrong direction one week, it would kill me to post that. Can you even imagine..? It’s bound to happen one of these days but I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. There’s literally nowhere to hide…I’ll tell you what though, as an accountability tool it’s a stroke of genius.
I took a big step when I did the supermarket run yesterday. Ladies and Gentlemen, there’s chocolate in the house again. I know. It’s been a chocolate-free zone ever since the beginning of this year when I had to acknowledge that the diet had gone completely tits up and I more or less started again . My food sobriety felt too fragile to even think about allowing that kind of stuff over the threshold, and bless him, my boy has been incredibly supportive given that he has a massive sweet tooth. But it never really felt okay to me, banishing everything on the naughty list from the house, you know? I know it’s okay to be selfish sometimes but at the end of the day, he lives here too.
I had to do it to get back on track, but this deep down shift in the way I’m feeling about stuff lately means I’m ready. I no longer worry that I’ll be ambushed by a packet of hob-nobs as I cross the kitchen to reach the fruit bowl…I feel strong, and more committed to my food plan than ever so it seemed like the right time to man up and lift the ban. The naughty cupboard once again contains some of his favourite goodies, and I’m not bothered by it one little bit. And yes I know that this could change in a heartbeat but honestly, I don’t believe it will.
This is day sixty four, and nothing’s knocking me off track. My girly weekend is just around the corner but I’m planning to take extraordinary care in the few days running up to it so I can make my food plan work for me. I’m on a roll here and I’m not even slightly stressed about how I’ll juggle everything…I just know that I will 🙂