No Sausage Rolls Welcome Here

In the last hour of yesterday, when I was kicking back and relaxing in my armchair, glued to the final part of a TV drama I’ve been looking forward to since last week’s episode, I didn’t eat anything, so I’ve officially declared it as a victory. It’s the first time in four days where I ended the day without incident.

It wasn’t a bad dieting day all things considered…I ate a sensible breakfast, a questionable mid-morning snack from the sandwich van, followed by a sensible lunch, a dodgy afternoon snack from the ice-cream van and very sensible light supper followed by an hour’s swim after I got back from the hospital. I tried, you know? And more importantly, I counted.

I didn’t want to. I mean, I wanted to want to, almost as much as I wanted not to have to but in the end I just bloody behaved myself and sulked about it like a petulant child. But you know what, as I was drafting some words for this blog post, for the first time since the weekend I felt like I could look myself in the eye and report that on the dieting front at least, my day had been okay. Even though it’d been a shit day in every other respect.

Mum’s poorly. I got quite choked at the hospital yesterday…I was telling her who was coming for a visit today, and she didn’t recognise the name of my best friend in the whole world, even though for the last thirty odd years she’s affectionately referred to her as daughter number two. That was a first. The doctors can’t tell me if this sudden mental decline is due to the infection, or whether the last pieces of mum are slipping away from me. I cried like a baby on the way home.

In between all that she still made me laugh. For some reason, she’d pulled the cannula out of the back of her hand, twice, and when I asked her why, she put on her very best innocent face and pointed at the old lady in the opposite bed… it wasn’t me, it was her, she did it. We both got a fit of the giggles when I caught her eye and she knew she’d been rumbled. It was the one bright spot in what was otherwise a difficult visit.

So let’s see what today brings. Between you and me, I’m hoping it doesn’t bring anything resembling a sausage roll. I’m working from home today and there’s only wholesome food in the house, plus neither the sandwich van or the ice-cream van will be calling to tempt me, so I’m in with a fighting chance.

I’m not expecting miracles…I just want to keep the wheels on, that’s all.

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15 thoughts on “No Sausage Rolls Welcome Here

  1. That is way too funny that she blamed the lady in the next bed. Infection can seriously cause dementia, my mother-in-law had a bad UTI, and it was like she declined into an old woman overnight, she couldn’t remember what she was saying, couldn’t say her words properly…but after antibiotics and proper hydration, she bounced back. 88 years old and back home on her own. She’s weaker, but her memory came back. All the best to you and your mom, she’s very lucky to have you. And you her:)

  2. They do behave oddly in the hospital though. Not sure if it’s the medications, the dehydration, etc. I told you before about my Mom breaking her shoulder/arm last year, at one point she asked me how she got to the hospital (ambulance) and had entirely forgotten that. As she got better she regained all of her old “mind” and is fine. I know there is too much going on at the moment, but just try and take care of yourself. Most of the things we worry about never happen as the old saying goes.

    1. I’m glad your mum is better, and my mum has so many prayers and positive thoughts going on from around the world, I can’t help but feel it must help! X

  3. This really touched my heart. My Mum was in the hospital last year and she started saying strange things like the nurses wanted everyone asleep early so they could drink! She told my dad the lady in the next bed was in an accident and had to sew her own leg back on! It was an awful time for me being so far away (U.S.) but after all that she is back to normal. I don’t know if it was the medication or dehydration but it was scary

    I’m praying it’s something that simple for your Mum. We, your faithful blog readers are all pulling for her.

    Hope today was a good one food wise for you xxx

  4. Oh, you made me remember in my mother’s last days (hoping it is not your mother’s last days, of course) I went to hospital to visit her and she stared at me blankly. She thought I was a nurse, she told me later. Until my husband and children pushed past the curtain around the bed, and seeing us all together she realised who I was. My mother didn’t recognise me. That was hard.

  5. That’s it, exactly! Oh Doll, all my love in these times with your Mom – what a hoot, she is like you! …I’m an adopted kid also, & damned if I haven’t spent my Whole Entire Life spotting those OMG moments when (Patty & I) turning into Mama

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