Ha! So one or two of my lovely friends and regular contributors to this melting pot of ideas have liberally sprinkled their comments of late with the word ‘stubborn’ and you know what…there’s something in it. Forgive me for being slow on the uptake, personally I blame all this chuffing exercise, I don’t know which way is up. I’m having a day of rest today much to the relief of my aching buns, so my brain has kicked into gear and cottoned on to what might just be a winning strategy.
Success is all about using the tools at hand, right? Well, I’m a Scorpio, and stubborn is in my DNA. I was born stubborn, if fact I’m easier to reason with now than I was at three years old…don’t get me wrong, I might have mellowed with age but I still know how to have a nick nack paddywhack and dig my heels right in when the occasion demands. So, since I’m so good at it, I’m clearly missing a trick if I don’t use it to my advantage.
Hang on a minute though, let’s think about what being stubborn really means. It goes a bit deeper than just saying no…it’s about a deep-down resistance to being forced to do something against your will. The more someone pushes, the more irritated you get and the more likely you are not to comply…why then, when the asshole voice in my head goes on and on about hob-nobs do I find it so difficult to slam the door in his face and dig my heels in with a resounding NO?
If it was a double glazing salesman trying to sell me windows I didn’t want or need I’d have no hesitation in telling him to bugger off, so why not cut the Asshole dead? Perhaps because the reality is I’m arguing with myself. I’m so used to referring to those bad thoughts by the Asshole name, I sometimes forget that they’re my thoughts.
If you’re anything like me, fighting your way through an all-consuming craving for something you shouldn’t have leaves you exhausted as you come out of the other side, whether you’ve managed to hold the line or not. It’s not a pleasant experience. So despite the negative connotation often associated with someone being of stubborn disposition, there are occasions where it’s a bloody godsend.
If there’s a decision that’s yours to make, and you’re the one who has to live with the consequences, being stubborn is officially okay. And one sniff of someone trying to torpedo your resolve meets all the above criteria, right? Even if that someone is you.
Whether it’s your own asshole voice or someone else’s trying to talk you into scoffing something naughty, or doing a bit of sofa surfing instead of sticking to whatever activity you’d planned to oil the wheels to Skinny Town, it’s okay to holler NO at the top of your lungs…go for it, knock yourself out being stubborn if that’s what it takes.
And here’s the rub…I’m going to take the advice of those bright sparks in the posse who knew when to plant the seed and watch it grow…stubborn is definitely the way forward. No more days like yesterday when I wasted two hours of my life fannying around trying to talk myself into and out of going for a walk. That should have been a swift sod off, slam the door, move on.
It’s a shame the penny didn’t drop earlier in the day today for me…if I’d experienced this particular light bulb moment before the asshole talked me into eating two Jacob’s Mint Club biscuits with a cup of tea mid afternoon I might not have run out of points by 4.30pm. It’s been a long evening and right now I could eat my own arm. But what do we say..?
NO!
Stubborn describes me to a T. Anyone trying to force me to do something figures out that i cannot be forced unless it means i will be arrested if i don’t comply. Use it to your advantage.
Often the case with strong characters Mimi 🙂
I was struck by your words: “it’s about a deep-down resistance to being forced to do something against your will.” I have found that it is definitely deep down resistance to something. I don’t know that I have much insight to share but I have learned to stop and really look at what I resist. I can be spot on with food but incredibly resistant to exercise, tracking or sharing my weight at a weight watchers meeting. Is it fear of the unknown, fear of actually getting to skinny town and leaving behind all my painful, yet still comfortable habits? This journey is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual…learning to accept (not resist) all of the freedoms that come with a smaller body and to really know deep inside that we’re worth it. We can be healed in so many ways when we stop abusing ourselves with food, or toxic thoughts like coulda, woulda, or shoulda. Loved this post; thanks for sharing your insights with us.
You’re welcome…thanks also for your very touching response. It’s raw sometimes isn’t it, when we peel layers away? We all understand that 🙂
LMAO! Crap, to find you have completely replaced a meal w/cookies. ?!? Well, more power to you.
corollary to our tip not to bring certain ‘triggers’ home from the store: sometimes I have bolted from the house to get away from them for 20 min. It sometimes works. Sheesh….
Tell me about it!! D x
Enjoying your journey…..sounds a bit like x factor there! I too have an asshole in my head re things that are bad for me and your blog resonates with me. Keep on writing and I’ll keep on cheering for your daily victories. Cheers to winning
Thank you, and yes, cheers to winning, I’ll take that!