Hands up who’s ever been tempted to whack something on a credit card because you wanted whatever it was in that moment, and figuring out how you were going to pay for it was a problem for Ron…as in later on…not just me then..? Years and years ago I got myself into a right old pickle doing that very thing, it was a hard lesson to learn. Much time was subsequently spent working my balls off to dig myself clear of the brown stuff, and I’m a bit more careful these days, although my halo has more than a few dinks in it and the odd bit of tarnish, if truth be told.
Yesterday, in discussion with the asshole voice, I found myself agreeing in principle to eating some of my lovely artisan crisp breads with tuna and mayo topping, for which I was planning to use exercise points that I hadn’t earned at that point.
Now, I’m still wearing my shocked face after the bitch in the bathroom delivered her verdict on the last week, and it’s fair to say that everything that passed my lips yesterday was scrutinised, weighed and regarded with suspicion until it had passed muster. I even drank water, which is unheard of given that it’s one of my I know I should but…things. Fortunately, just before I signed for my dieting bank loan I woke up to what I was doing and kicked the asshole voice back into the long grass.
I’ve flirted with that approach on and off over the last few weeks, and generally when I’ve front-loaded points I’ve followed through, you know, settled my debts. On the odd occasion I haven’t, I’ve got away with it which in the overall scheme of things probably hasn’t helped. And I’m not even saying that it’s never okay to do spend your food budget in that way, I mean we’ve got a life to live, right? You’ve got to have a bit of wriggle room to ensure it fits comfortably over the long term. But for me in the here and now, I’m pulling everything back to basics.
That means weighing, measuring and counting every morsel on a battery-powered thingamabob that doesn’t guess, or forget stuff. Earning extra points before I spend them. Re-committing to my hurt machine every single day that I’m home at night and making enough time for me in my busy life so I can do just that.
When the results are coming in on track it’s easy to fall into a bad habit here or there, and it doesn’t seem to matter much, you know? However, the minute you reach that tipping point where they grind to a halt, or worse start rolling backwards, damn straight it’s time to recalibrate.
And you know what, it feels good. It felt good last night to go to bed knowing that I’d stayed true to my goal by trying my very best and giving it one hundred percent effort. Today’s heading in the same direction. Nothing like dodging a bullet to focus the mind, right?