Holy Moly it feels like the pressure is really ramping up now – I’ve got some last minute bits and pieces sorted out this week, and tomorrow I have my final practise walk before the actual trek itself. It’s scary to think this time next week I’ll orienting my way around Havana, feeling like a proper adventurer on my way to explore the deepest depths of the Cuban rainforest. Eeek!!
Something that hadn’t occurred to me, in the middle of all this preparation for the walking and the bugs and the camping, was that for the first and last two days of the trip we’re actually on holiday in a proper hotel with a pool and a cocktail menu. Result! And there are some trips arranged for us around old Havana amongst other things, I mean they’re really going to give us a flavour of Cuba. I’ve been too caught up in everything else to even think about that.
I’m even more excited now I’ve actually read the small print, although it’s sort of knocked my packing a bit sideways –let’s be honest, I’d look like a dick sitting around the pool in full trekking gear including hat complete with mozzie net, looking for all the world like I’m on the edge of an adventure whilst everyone else gets their groove on with a Cuba Libre and a good book.
So it seems like I need four days’ worth of non-trekkie clothes too. Which is fine, except they’ve given us a limit on luggage, and most of my allowance will be taken up by bug spray. Maybe I need to relax a bit about the bugs. Just take, you know five gallons of insect repellant instead of six..? I was playing fast and loose with my baggage allowance until they said my bag might need to be transported by donkeys, and since they’re much cuter than your average baggage handler I feel a certain obligation to remain within my weight limit.
Honestly? The pressure of knowing everything I’ve been working for is just around the corner is playing havoc with my food plan. My Asshole voice is having a ball, trying to talk me into no end of naughties and I’m afraid to admit he’s achieved a pretty good strike rate this week. WTF is wrong with me? I ate three cupcakes at work today. Three. Counting them conservatively in terms of smart points that’s twenty one points out of a daily allowance of thirty four. That’s not even funny, right?
It’s been the same all week, and it was equally hard last week too just to stay in the zone and maintain focus. I’ll bare my arse to the world if I’ve lost any weight this week… I’m three points in deficit at this point and I haven’t eaten dinner yet. The boxing class I should have gone to after work didn’t happen because the motorway was snarled up with an accident and I didn’t make it in time even though I left work early so I’m relying on our long walk tomorrow to help me snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. But talk about sailing close to the wind.
I need to give my head a wobble and remind myself why I’m doing this…I didn’t lose weight to go to Cuba, I’m going to Cuba because I needed something to help me focus my mind. How ironic would it be if the pressure got to me enough that I fell off the wagon? Don’t worry, I’m not planning to, I’m just thinking out loud.
Tomorrow I’m going to walk my socks off, and Sunday is a bright shiny new week…let me at it 🙂