Shitbird Scale Says…


26 March 2017   0.75lb off

246lbs   For fuck’s sake. Did somebody pass a law to say no nice surprises can be handed out on weigh-day at all?

How is it possible to go a full week without stepping a toe out of line on my food plan, fit in four exercise classes and a 10 mile hike at still lose less than a poxy pound? AAAARGH!!!!!


19 March 2017   2lbs off

247lbs   Yes, I know 2lbs is a good solid number but I have gone completely balls to the wall this week with 6 exercise classes, a 5k park event and my food plan has been bang on point. I wanted a 3 *stamps foot* and I seem to have misplaced my impressed face. Fucking Shitbird scale. Next week IS going to show 3 🙂


12 March 2017   1.25lbs off  

249lbs   Not bad considering this was taken on Friday rather than Sunday so really only 5 days since my last weigh-day, on account of my weekend away…happy with that 🙂

What’s more I was really good whilst I was away so next week should be a great number…

5 March 2017   1.75lbs off  

250lbs. It’s felt like a very solid week this week so I can live with that…more would have been nice but the most important thing is my head is in the right place.

Oh, and look…I’m in the seventeens!!!:)


 28 February 2017    1/4lb off

252lbs.  Hmm. Any hole’s a goal, right? I had to wait a couple of days to get rid of my post-flight puffy ankles before I risked the wrath of Shitbird but you know what, my goal was to stick to my food plan and maintain on holiday so I’m more than happy with this! 🙂



 12 February 2017    1.25lbs off  

252lbs.  Well I had an epic battle with the Shitbird Scale this morning. Having trotted happily to the bathroom expecting another decent loss,  this one pound loss was awarded begrudgingly after the weigh-day tango around every tile. Shitbird thing!!!


5 February 2017    3.5lbs off  

253lbs.   I had a feeling in my water that this week’s number would be a good one…I feel like I worked hard and I earned it. That’s 13lbs off so far this year, and I’m happy with that!

Wonder if I can get under 18 next week… 🙂


29 January 2017    2.5lbs off  

257lbs. That’s better 🙂  A good solid week. We’re within touching distance of the end of the month and I’ve evicted 9.5lbs out of my pants since I woke up with an attitude on the 2nd Jan. Shall we aim for another 2.5 this week..? Hell yeah!


22 January 2017  0.75lb off.

259lbs. I knew I shouldn’t have loaded my toes with that nail varnish, I could have got a whole pound across the line if I’d stuck with the half-a-toe look 🙂

You know what, I’ll take it…almost a pound is better than no pounds, right?


  15 January 2017  3.75lbs off…HELLO!

260lbs. That’s more like it. Mind you, it comes with a warning…all of a sudden after me and the Shitbird Scale had built a level of trust over the last 3 weeks, we did the weigh-day tango and got 3 different numbers ranging from no pounds off to five pounds off. This was the most consistent though so I’m having it. Toenails are getting embarrassing now 🙂


8 January 2017    2.5lbs off.…nice!

264lbs. I’ll take that thanks very much, a good solid week. I’m feeling strong with six good days’ worth of skin in the game, and a brand new shiny week awaits. What we going after this week..? Let’s aim for 18:10 🙂

Clearly no progress on the toenails…


1 January 2017

266lbs. Okay…that’s eight and a half stones – or 120lbs – north of what it should say. New year, new start, new attitude and I’m not enduring the ritual humiliation of posting one of these   golden fucking nuggets every week unless it’s going downwards, and quickly.

Watch this space 🙂

*note to self* sort your bloody toenails out