Dee’s Shitbird Page


21.1.18  5.75lbs ON

275lbs  Fuck fuck fuck. I took a picture of an empty scale and I was going to post that because I didn’t want to see the number. This accountability malarkey is a pain in the ass, I HAVE NOWHERE TO HIDE!!!! I’ve been awful. I’m still being awful. Will someone please wire my fucking jaws shut 🙁


14.1.18  0.75lb on  

269lbs  That’s annoying. Yesterday it said I’d lost half a pound, today it says I’ve gained three quarters and yet yesterday was a good day…go figure, bloody shitbird thing messing with my head. Onwards 🙂



7.1.18  2.75lbs off  

268lbs  Woohoo!!! Don’t you just love it when you can start your new week off with a happy dance. I’ve worked really hard this week and stuck like glue to the programme which just goes to show I can act like a grown-up and behave when I put my mind to it!!



31.12.17 1.5lbs ON  

271lbs  So I know I’ve gone up by 1.5lbs but considering just how much I celebrated Christmas I consider this a testament to how good I’ve been over the last three days. I’m taking the win, and as we go into the New Year I promise you’ll see only downward action from now on!


24.12.17  1.75lbs off  

270lbs  I’m doing my happy dance! I’ve made it work for me this week despite festive buffets and a fair amount of sailing close to the wind and I couldn’t be more pleased with the number. I’m aiming for a stay-the-same for next week so I can take my foot off a bit over Christmas…have a good one everybody!!!  🙂


17.12.17  0.5lbs off (but 12.75lbs ON by cutting off the Shitbird’s mind-fuckery game)

271lbs  So you know how I have to fanny about every weigh-day to get the best reading, because my bathroom floor is made up of a gazillion little tiles which all give a different number when the Shitbird lands on them? I’ve had a flash of inspiration, although for one week only it looks like I ate all the pies. I didn’t, in case you wondered. I’ve taken half a pound off this week after misbehaving Sunday to Tuesday and then starting my new food plan on Wednesday. Since then I’ve been a rock star and I’m happy with my number. I’ll explain all in tomorrow’s post!

10.12.17  1.5lbs ON  

259lbs  Well there’s a surprise, said nobody at all. Mind you, forgive me being indelicate – nothing new there, right? – but I feel like I need the world’s biggest poo. Nothing’s happening at all…I feel like I might be half a stone lighter if I could just…you know…


3.12.17  1lb off  

258lbs  Crikey it seems miracles do happen. I was expecting to stay the same at best having had 3 great days, one so-so day and three days of carnage. But a pound’s a pound, right? I’ll take it. I’m back to day one, but clinging on and I’m as determined as ever this week’s going to count  🙂


26 November 2017  1.25lbs off  

259lbs  It’s annoying how fast it goes on versus how bloody slowly it comes off but you know what, I’ve had a steady week with no major battles or wobbles and no drama. It’s all good. I feel calm and in control. Eating’s gone well, I could’ve worked out harder but what I did this week is sustainable. I’ll take it!


19 November 2017   2lbs ON

260lbs It could’ve been worse – and on the best of fifteen bathroom shuffle some of the tiles did tell more of a horror story. But I’m having this one, and I’m grateful for the number…I’d convinced myself that I was really back to square one.  But the sun is setting on a decent day one…we’re on the turn 🙂


5 November 2017 1.5lb off  

258lbs  Well, I don’t know how to feel about that. I’ve had a week of swinging about all over the place so I’m not sure whether I lost water weight post-holiday and then carried on gaining fat or whether my post-holiday weight was accurate and I’ve started to take it off again…let’s see what next week brings.


29 October 2017 21lbs ON

260lbs  I’m mortified. I was going to wait until next week to share my pain but a promise is a promise, right? I suspect that a little bit of this will be post-flight puffy ankles because we only landed last night, but honestly, most of it will be the after effects of my pre-holiday fuck it attitude and my week of power-eating on board the cruise. I’ve had pretty much two weeks off-piste, and when I say I’ve been bad, I mean I’ve been BAD. I knew I’d have to face the music and I can massively tell I have put weight on…my moon face is back. It is what it is. I’ll deal with it but I’m feeling sad at all the wasted effort I’ve put in this year only to find myself back at square one 🙁

15 October 2017 No Change  

239lbs I am not wearing my impressed face. I’ve had a good week. I’ve keep the Asshole in his box, eaten well and swam 5 hours in total with a spin class thrown in for good measure. Don’t know about you, but to me that feels like a lot of effort for fuck-all result 🙁


8 October 2017  1/4lb ON  

239lbs. So I’m considering that a win, given the backdrop of my life at the moment. There have been highs and lows this week, but mainly lows. I was expecting worse. Once more into the fray…let’s see what this week brings eh?


1 October 2017  2.25lbs ON

239lbs  Hands up, I deserved it. It’s a fair cop, in fact I’m relieved it’s not more. It’s been a really shit week, again, and just as I was pulling in all back on track, the weekend happened and yet more life-shit hit the fan. Please let this week be better…pleeeeeease!!!


24 September 2017  3.5lbs off

237lbs  Happy days! I had a feeling this week that the number was actually going to reflect the effort I’ve put in. It’s not before bloody time! You can sometimes just tell can’t you?  I feel skinny this week. I’m aiming for two pounds off next week, I want to keep the momentum going now 🙂


17 September 2017 1lb off  

240lbs.  So okay, for whatever reason my body has decided it wants to cling onto every single fucking one of these surplus-to-requirement pounds, which are refusing to budge. Surely, surely it has to give more than one of them up next week? With the exception of one incident with a plate of garlic bread I’ve been outstanding over the last week. GRRR!!!


10 September 2017 0lb off  

241lbs. So I kind of feel like my body’s taking the piss a bit now. I’ve had a text book week, and I haven’t even flirted with a single inappropriate morsel. It’s annoying but maybe it’s a test? I have every intention of passing it, so there. In my defence I weighed in 2 days early since I was way this weekend…all this effort has to show next week!


3 September 2017  0lb off  

241lbs   Hmm. That feels a bit bloody unfair. I’ve definitely put in more than bugger-all pound’s worth of effort. I think maybe I should defy God of Pain’s advice to eat my exercise calories…I have eaten a lot this week because I earned them fair and square but the numbers don’t seem to be adding up, you know?


27 August 2017 4.5lbs off  

241lbs  Well that was unexpected! I’ve had my head back in the game properly for four whole days, but considering that the first three days of this dieting week had to be written off, I’m beyond delighted. It’s exactly the boost I needed 🙂


20 August 2017 1lb off

246lbs  Hmm. Given the up and down nature of my week I didn’t know what to expect. I don’t think it’s a loss if I’m completely honest – I just took the big bandage off which probably accounts for the 1lb. But I’m hanging in there. At least it hasn’t gone up!


13 August 2017  4lbs ON  

247lbs  So, in my defence I’ve got a bulky bandage which covers thigh to ankle on my leg after knee surgery plus PJ bottoms, plus sexy compression stocking on right leg. I’ve been clean-eating again for 3 days so not sure how much of these 4lbs are explained where. But I’m okay chaps. I’m good 🙂


6 August 2017  9.75lbs ON  

243lbs.  Shit. That’s hard to read, right? It’s been a whole week of utter chaos, with seemingly no power at all to override the Asshole voice. But yesterday I started to miss the discipline and today I seem to have woken up with my head in a clearer place. Please God let me find my feet and pick up the thread because I’m ready to get back in the game.


30 July 2017  2.75lbs ON  

233lbs  That’s the best number I could squeeze out despite nudging it around every tile in the bathroom. I haven’t had any cheeky mid-week check-ins so I’ve no idea if this is just today, but based on what I’ve eaten I don’t deserve this so I’m choosing to not let it mess with my head. It’s just my body doing it’s thing, right?


23 July 2017  1/2lb off  

230lbs  So not a fantastic result, but I’ve got to admit with all my creative accounting this last week, it’s a number I’m relieved to see…it could have been worse. It’s okay, and today I reset. No more pinching from Peter to pay Paul, and no more unwise ‘healthy snack’ choices because they are demanding too much attention. I’m good.


16 July 2017    4lbs off

231lbs  I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve this! I have been extra careful with my food intake this week because I’ve been fairly inactive whilst I spent time with my Godmum, and I’ve regularly eaten at odd hours of the day and night. Still, I’ll take it. Watch the Shitbird snatch it back next week!

9 July 2017  2.25lbs off  

235lbs  Well I’m not going to fall out with that number am I? I didn’t feel any skinnier this morning but I’ve had another good week food-wise despite two days’ working away and some tough stuff going on at home. Oh did I mention that I’m at my lowest weight in years…? 🙂


2 July 2017  3.25lbs off  

237lbs  So I know it’s been 10 days since my last weigh in, due to holiday but look!! There are calories being burned as we speak due to all the happy dancing… 🙂 I’m back in the sixteens and just one quarter pound away from my lowest weight in years, I’m so giddy 🙂


22 June 2017  3/4lb off

240lbs  So this could have gone badly wrong since it’s only 4 days into my week, but I go on holiday this afternoon so wanted to get a weigh-in under my belt before I went. I can live with 3/4lb…see you next Sunday 🙂  ps check out those holiday toes!!

18 June 2017  3lbs off  

241lbs  Haaaappppyyyyy!!! I knew today’s number would be something worth writing home about 🙂 This My Fitness Pal malarkey is really working for me, and the difference between the amount I was eating before and the amount I’m eating now is ridiculous. But I’m working hard at it and weirdly, I’m really enjoying the discipline!


11 June 2017 3/4lb ON  

244lbs  You know what, for the first time today I faced down the shitbird and didn’t really care what it said. I knew those No Count carbs would have trashed the number today but after only 2 days on MFP I am 1000% confident that next week will be one to celebrate…watch me go guys, the wheels have been oiled! I’m excited 🙂


4 June 2017 2lbs off  

243lbs   Okay I’m on my way. I’ve quite enjoyed the No Count approach. I’ve fitted it into two working away days and a meal out with friends and this is a solid loss. Better still, no refined sugar and no binges. I think I glued the wheels back on and I feel in control. One day at a time  🙂


28 May 2017  5.25lbs ON  

245lbs  Here ya go folks…that’s the aftermath of four days in the grip of a binge. I’m gutted, but what are my choices here? I forgive myself. I’ve talked it out and it’s not pretty but it is what it is. Relapse is a normal part of recovery, right? Let’s move forward.


21 May 2017  1lb off  

240lbs  So without being overly dramatic, that’s like a dagger through the heart. I’d convinced myself that Wednesday’s number was a piss-take and that when I hopped aboard this morning it would be rubbed out like it never happened. Fucks sake. Best get busy losing those same pounds all over again then 🙁


17 May 2017  4.25lbs ON  

241lbs  Okay so that officials sucks. I reject that number as a vicious attempt by the Shitbird scale to piss all over my day. I deserve to stick, or maybe slide a pound in the wrong direction but I’ve genuinely not eaten four pounds’ worth of weight gain. Deep breath Dee…come on girl, take the knock, keep going…


10 May 2017  0.25lb off  

237lbs  So I’m starting to wonder whether this experiment is working…once again I’m distinctly underwhelmed by my output this week. Basically I’ve stood still for the last 2 weeks. Mind you, forgive me being blunt but I am overdue a big poo, which might have made a difference, right?


3 May 2017  0.25lb ON  

237lbs  Oh no! That’s the end of my unbroken run of losses from the beginning of this year. Fuck. I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and try harder this week. It’s my fault for making like a sloth for the last 7 days 🙁

Big toe fake tan disaster alert!


26 April 2017  0.75lb off  

237lbs   I feel as rough as toast this morning so I can’t be bothered to moan about three quarters of a pound. I’m relieved more than anything that the Shitbird thing didn’t snatch back any of the pounds I lost last week! And, I’m in the sixteens, look!!! 🙂


19 April 2017   4lbs off

238lbs   Whaaaa..? Good grief I wasn’t expecting that! That’s the best loss in a single week that I’ve had since I started this journey and I’m here to tell you it makes resisting every one of those chocolates this week beyond worth it.

Cue happy dance… 🙂


12 April 2017   1.25lbs off

242lbs. Well, that’s a turn up for the books, since I’ve changed my weigh day and it’s only three days since the last weigh-in. Shitbird Scale must be feeling magnanimous, but I’ll take it thank you very much!



9 April 2017   1.5lbs off

243lbs   You know what, that’s not bad considering my dratted knee has stopped me from working out properly and I’m not walking much.  By the end of the month I I’m planning to be into the sixteens, and how sweet will that be 🙂


2 April 2017   1.75lbs off

244lbs     Well there’s a turn up for the books, looks like this experiment might just be working after all! I almost moved the needle to two off but guess what…I’m now UNDER my Cuba weight. Virgin territory now peeps, come on let’s break some new ground!   WAHOOOO!


26 March 2017   0.75lb off

246lbs   For fuck’s sake. Did somebody pass a law to say no nice surprises can be handed out on weigh-day at all?

How is it possible to go a full week without stepping a toe out of line on my food plan, fit in four exercise classes and a 10 mile hike at still lose less than a poxy pound? AAAARGH!!!!!


19 March 2017   2lbs off

247lbs   Yes, I know 2lbs is a good solid number but I have gone completely balls to the wall this week with 6 exercise classes, a 5k park event and my food plan has been bang on point. I wanted a 3 *stamps foot* and I seem to have misplaced my impressed face. Fucking Shitbird scale. Next week IS going to show 3 🙂


12 March 2017   1.25lbs off  

249lbs   Not bad considering this was taken on Friday rather than Sunday so really only 5 days since my last weigh-day, on account of my weekend away…happy with that 🙂

What’s more I was really good whilst I was away so next week should be a great number…

5 March 2017   1.75lbs off  

250lbs. It’s felt like a very solid week this week so I can live with that…more would have been nice but the most important thing is my head is in the right place.

Oh, and look…I’m in the seventeens!!!:)


 28 February 2017    0.75lb off

252lbs.  Hmm. Any hole’s a goal, right? I had to wait a couple of days to get rid of my post-flight puffy ankles before I risked the wrath of Shitbird but you know what, my goal was to stick to my food plan and maintain on holiday so I’m more than happy with this! 🙂



 12 February 2017    1.25lbs off  

252lbs.  Well I had an epic battle with the Shitbird Scale this morning. Having trotted happily to the bathroom expecting another decent loss,  this one pound loss was awarded begrudgingly after the weigh-day tango around every tile. Shitbird thing!!!


5 February 2017    3.5lbs off  

253lbs.   I had a feeling in my water that this week’s number would be a good one…I feel like I worked hard and I earned it. That’s 13lbs off so far this year, and I’m happy with that!

Wonder if I can get under 18 next week… 🙂


29 January 2017    2.5lbs off  

257lbs. That’s better 🙂  A good solid week. We’re within touching distance of the end of the month and I’ve evicted 9.5lbs out of my pants since I woke up with an attitude on the 2nd Jan. Shall we aim for another 2.5 this week..? Hell yeah!


22 January 2017  0.75lb off.

259lbs. I knew I shouldn’t have loaded my toes with that nail varnish, I could have got a whole pound across the line if I’d stuck with the half-a-toe look 🙂

You know what, I’ll take it…almost a pound is better than no pounds, right?


  15 January 2017  3.75lbs off…HELLO!

260lbs. That’s more like it. Mind you, it comes with a warning…all of a sudden after me and the Shitbird Scale had built a level of trust over the last 3 weeks, we did the weigh-day tango and got 3 different numbers ranging from no pounds off to five pounds off. This was the most consistent though so I’m having it. Toenails are getting embarrassing now 🙂


8 January 2017    2.5lbs off.…nice!

264lbs. I’ll take that thanks very much, a good solid week. I’m feeling strong with six good days’ worth of skin in the game, and a brand new shiny week awaits. What we going after this week..? Let’s aim for 18:10 🙂

Clearly no progress on the toenails…


1 January 2017

266lbs. Okay…that’s eight and a half stones – or 120lbs – north of what it should say. New year, new start, new attitude and I’m not enduring the ritual humiliation of posting one of these   golden fucking nuggets every week unless it’s going downwards, and quickly.

Watch this space 🙂

*note to self* sort your bloody toenails out

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