Shitbird Scale Says…


22 June 2017  3/4lb off

240lbs  So this could have gone badly wrong since it’s only 4 days into my week, but I go on holiday this afternoon so wanted to get a weigh-in under my belt before I went. I can live with 3/4lb…see you next Sunday 🙂  ps check out those holiday toes!!

18 June 2017  3lbs off  

241lbs  Haaaappppyyyyy!!! I knew today’s number would be something worth writing home about 🙂 This My Fitness Pal malarkey is really working for me, and the difference between the amount I was eating before and the amount I’m eating now is ridiculous. But I’m working hard at it and weirdly, I’m really enjoying the discipline!


11 June 2017 3/4lb ON  

244lbs  You know what, for the first time today I faced down the shitbird and didn’t really care what it said. I knew those No Count carbs would have trashed the number today but after only 2 days on MFP I am 1000% confident that next week will be one to celebrate…watch me go guys, the wheels have been oiled! I’m excited 🙂


4 June 2017 2lbs off  

243lbs   Okay I’m on my way. I’ve quite enjoyed the No Count approach. I’ve fitted it into two working away days and a meal out with friends and this is a solid loss. Better still, no refined sugar and no binges. I think I glued the wheels back on and I feel in control. One day at a time  🙂


28 May 2017  5.25lbs ON  

245lbs  Here ya go folks…that’s the aftermath of four days in the grip of a binge. I’m gutted, but what are my choices here? I forgive myself. I’ve talked it out and it’s not pretty but it is what it is. Relapse is a normal part of recovery, right? Let’s move forward.


21 May 2017  1lb off  

240lbs  So without being overly dramatic, that’s like a dagger through the heart. I’d convinced myself that Wednesday’s number was a piss-take and that when I hopped aboard this morning it would be rubbed out like it never happened. Fucks sake. Best get busy losing those same pounds all over again then 🙁


17 May 2017  4.25lbs ON  

241lbs  Okay so that officials sucks. I reject that number as a vicious attempt by the Shitbird scale to piss all over my day. I deserve to stick, or maybe slide a pound in the wrong direction but I’ve genuinely not eaten four pounds’ worth of weight gain. Deep breath Dee…come on girl, take the knock, keep going…


10 May 2017  0.25lb off  

237lbs  So I’m starting to wonder whether this experiment is working…once again I’m distinctly underwhelmed by my output this week. Basically I’ve stood still for the last 2 weeks. Mind you, forgive me being blunt but I am overdue a big poo, which might have made a difference, right?


3 May 2017  0.25lb ON  

237lbs  Oh no! That’s the end of my unbroken run of losses from the beginning of this year. Fuck. I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and try harder this week. It’s my fault for making like a sloth for the last 7 days 🙁

Big toe fake tan disaster alert!


26 April 2017  0.75lb off  

237lbs   I feel as rough as toast this morning so I can’t be bothered to moan about three quarters of a pound. I’m relieved more than anything that the Shitbird thing didn’t snatch back any of the pounds I lost last week! And, I’m in the sixteens, look!!! 🙂


19 April 2017   4lbs off

238lbs   Whaaaa..? Good grief I wasn’t expecting that! That’s the best loss in a single week that I’ve had since I started this journey and I’m here to tell you it makes resisting every one of those chocolates this week beyond worth it.

Cue happy dance… 🙂


12 April 2017   1.25lbs off

242lbs. Well, that’s a turn up for the books, since I’ve changed my weigh day and it’s only three days since the last weigh-in. Shitbird Scale must be feeling magnanimous, but I’ll take it thank you very much!



9 April 2017   1.5lbs off

243lbs   You know what, that’s not bad considering my dratted knee has stopped me from working out properly and I’m not walking much.  By the end of the month I I’m planning to be into the sixteens, and how sweet will that be 🙂


2 April 2017   1.75lbs off

244lbs     Well there’s a turn up for the books, looks like this experiment might just be working after all! I almost moved the needle to two off but guess what…I’m now UNDER my Cuba weight. Virgin territory now peeps, come on let’s break some new ground!   WAHOOOO!


26 March 2017   0.75lb off

246lbs   For fuck’s sake. Did somebody pass a law to say no nice surprises can be handed out on weigh-day at all?

How is it possible to go a full week without stepping a toe out of line on my food plan, fit in four exercise classes and a 10 mile hike at still lose less than a poxy pound? AAAARGH!!!!!


19 March 2017   2lbs off

247lbs   Yes, I know 2lbs is a good solid number but I have gone completely balls to the wall this week with 6 exercise classes, a 5k park event and my food plan has been bang on point. I wanted a 3 *stamps foot* and I seem to have misplaced my impressed face. Fucking Shitbird scale. Next week IS going to show 3 🙂


12 March 2017   1.25lbs off  

249lbs   Not bad considering this was taken on Friday rather than Sunday so really only 5 days since my last weigh-day, on account of my weekend away…happy with that 🙂

What’s more I was really good whilst I was away so next week should be a great number…

5 March 2017   1.75lbs off  

250lbs. It’s felt like a very solid week this week so I can live with that…more would have been nice but the most important thing is my head is in the right place.

Oh, and look…I’m in the seventeens!!!:)


 28 February 2017    0.75lb off

252lbs.  Hmm. Any hole’s a goal, right? I had to wait a couple of days to get rid of my post-flight puffy ankles before I risked the wrath of Shitbird but you know what, my goal was to stick to my food plan and maintain on holiday so I’m more than happy with this! 🙂



 12 February 2017    1.25lbs off  

252lbs.  Well I had an epic battle with the Shitbird Scale this morning. Having trotted happily to the bathroom expecting another decent loss,  this one pound loss was awarded begrudgingly after the weigh-day tango around every tile. Shitbird thing!!!


5 February 2017    3.5lbs off  

253lbs.   I had a feeling in my water that this week’s number would be a good one…I feel like I worked hard and I earned it. That’s 13lbs off so far this year, and I’m happy with that!

Wonder if I can get under 18 next week… 🙂


29 January 2017    2.5lbs off  

257lbs. That’s better 🙂  A good solid week. We’re within touching distance of the end of the month and I’ve evicted 9.5lbs out of my pants since I woke up with an attitude on the 2nd Jan. Shall we aim for another 2.5 this week..? Hell yeah!


22 January 2017  0.75lb off.

259lbs. I knew I shouldn’t have loaded my toes with that nail varnish, I could have got a whole pound across the line if I’d stuck with the half-a-toe look 🙂

You know what, I’ll take it…almost a pound is better than no pounds, right?


  15 January 2017  3.75lbs off…HELLO!

260lbs. That’s more like it. Mind you, it comes with a warning…all of a sudden after me and the Shitbird Scale had built a level of trust over the last 3 weeks, we did the weigh-day tango and got 3 different numbers ranging from no pounds off to five pounds off. This was the most consistent though so I’m having it. Toenails are getting embarrassing now 🙂


8 January 2017    2.5lbs off.…nice!

264lbs. I’ll take that thanks very much, a good solid week. I’m feeling strong with six good days’ worth of skin in the game, and a brand new shiny week awaits. What we going after this week..? Let’s aim for 18:10 🙂

Clearly no progress on the toenails…


1 January 2017

266lbs. Okay…that’s eight and a half stones – or 120lbs – north of what it should say. New year, new start, new attitude and I’m not enduring the ritual humiliation of posting one of these   golden fucking nuggets every week unless it’s going downwards, and quickly.

Watch this space 🙂

*note to self* sort your bloody toenails out

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