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So, I’ve been anticipating this post for a long time. Well, when I say anticipating, what I really mean is I’ve been nagging the author for months to write me a few words. Penned by one of my favourite people in the whole world, this guest post gives you an insight from a bloke’s perspective on the female quest for skinniness. It just so happens that this particular bloke is one of my best friends, and he has a genuine appreciation of the fuller female form!
Less is More or Less?
At one point Betty tried pulling a tea cosy over her head to make it harder to find the fridge. (Image of the Woman of Willendorf statue)
For every woman who worries that their arse might acquire its own postcode, (like Dee), there will be a number of men who would not only be happy about that state of affairs, but would also seek to have the arse officially recognised as an Area of Outstanding Beauty and protected by law, lest one square inch of its ample undulations be lost to mankind.
Nowadays in Western society men preferring more voluptuous women are generally regarded as anything from a bit weird through to incomprehensibly deviant, the latter view generally being held by people who view anything above a size zero as “massive.”
If we were to take broad look at the nature of attraction historically across all global cultures however, we would find it is this modern worship of the skinny that would be seen as a deviation from the historic norm.
If HG Wells had not simply written a novel about a time machine, but actually invented one (quite a challenge I admit) then any woman afflicted with a hobnob addiction could’ve made great use of it. Instead of embarking on yet another dispiriting diet, they could simply hop on the machine, set the dial backwards, and in the bat of an eyelid be regarded as Kate Moss.
For the first time travel jaunt I’d suggest setting the dial back 25,000 years. That’s when the stone figure pictured above (The Woman of Willendorf) is thought to have been carved.
We might never know with much certainty why it was carved. Perhaps it was “before” carving from a Neolithic diet advert. I was once a bit of a Woolly Mammoth until I discovered the ‘Slimfast Tea Cosy’. As soon as it was on my head I could no longer find my food writes Betty from Cave no.7
I think there’s a stronger possibility that the carver had a thing for very big women. She might possibly have been the world’s first “centrefold”. Perhaps the centrefold was invented because she had trouble fitting on one page..?
Should you think that’s too much speculation, and you’d prefer to travel to a time when you know for certain you’d be adored, I’d suggest you go back a mere 370 years, and visit Istanbul. Introduce yourself to Sultan Ibrahim. Sir MIxalot’s lyrics “I like big butts and I cannot lie” could’ve been inspired by the Sultan. He was once so impressed by seeing a particular cow’s arse that he had a copy of it sculpted in gold and sent around his empire with the instructions to find a woman with a similar rear. The mission successfully returned a woman for whom the title fat cow was not an insult but her ticket to becoming the most powerful woman in the empire. A husband here might risk incurring wrath if he DIDN’T answer the question Does my bum look big in this? with Yes dear, it most certainly does!
That the Sultan called her Sugar Cube is perhaps an indication he wanted to ensure her rear would remain as large as his empire. Get James Bond to accompany you back there and we could have a “Gold Arse” follow up to “Gold Finger”.
Travel a few years further back still, and you could be one of Ruben’s models. It wasn’t just Ruben who liked “Rubenesque” women. His paintings of larger ladies were extremely popular, getting him lucrative commissions from royalty around Europe.
Should the time travel company charge by the year travelled (it would bring new meaning to “1830 holidays”) and you want to keep the costs down, try the Victorian period. Their erotic pictures usually show arses that could never be shoe-horned into any modern fashion model’s outfits.
Perhaps the time machine isn’t required at all. If Freud’s painting “Benefits Supervisor Sleeping” can sell for $33 million in 1995 becoming the most expensive painting ever by a living artist, then maybe the sight of very large naked ladies is still as greatly valued as in Rubens day, or prehistoric times.
If a song about admiring large female butts should be the second highest selling record in the US in 1992, or in the UK Dawn French when at her largest was voted the sexiest woman on TV for several consecutive years, could that be indicative that naked or clothed, more people than might be imagined find larger women attractive? Perhaps social and media pressure mean the lyrics should’ve been “I like big butts but I can and do lie”? Perhaps it’s easier to acknowledge Dawn French’s sexiness in an anonymous vote than openly admit attraction to a similar sized woman in your office?
The fashion and dieting industry have become so enormous (the former worth $3,000 trillion and the latter $586 billion in 2014) and so wholly culturally dominant, that when annexed with the power of modern media, their perpetual “large is ugly” mantra becomes ingrained into modern thought and unconditionally accepted as an all pervading truth. Any disagreement is treated as deviant heresy.
Sometimes the examples of this social acceptance are subtle and shown more by what isn’t there than what is. There is no derogatory title of “Starver” but there is a derogatory term of “Feeder”. It is clearly wrong to coerce anyone into either weight gain or weight loss. So why is it any more acceptable to make someone feel like the Elephant Man/Woman for gaining 10lbs? The claim that it is done for the other person’s health and wellbeing is largely disingenuous, as the motive is more likely selfish than selfless, and the stress and depression it may cause someone, particularly if they already lack confidence, would considerably outweigh any possible marginal health gains.
As a woman you might have many different reasons for dieting, from health and fitness, to mobility, or simply even a better choice of clothes. If becoming more attractive to men is one of your reasons, be aware that is an impossible goal. For some men it will work, but for some, your less will for them be less not more. Better to view your goal as a change of fan base!