Monthly Archives: September 2017

Trying It Without The Carrot

So my conversation with the Shitbird Scale yesterday provoked a miserable reaction from my face, which together with the rest of me had expected more. It gave up nothing, not a single fucking ounce. And I don’t know about you, but that feels really unfair when I’ve worked my cahoonies off to make a dink in the number of pounds I gained when I was busy being a dickhead.

Seriously, I’ve done an hour of swimming just about every day, not to mention all the physio and the walking I’ve managed to fit in. It feels like I’ve done nothing except work and work out over the last week, and I’ve stayed within my calorie limits, so there’s no wonder I feel like that foot-square piece of shitbird glass has stabbed me right in the back. I was actually expecting a fanfare and some sort of trophy for having the best week ever.

It could’ve gone two ways. You know me, setbacks on the scale have been known to send me hurtling straight to the hob-nobs. As recently as the end of July I posted a picture of my weigh-in where the number had gone in the wrong direction, and confidently declared that based on what I’ve eaten I don’t deserve this so I’m choosing to not let it mess with my head…yeah well look how well that worked out. Just about three weeks of anarchy followed because it totally messed with my head.

I’m very happy overall with the regime I’m following. I like the rhythm of counting calories now I’ve wrestled my head back into the game but I reckon I need to tinker around the edges of the numbers a bit because there’s a couple of things I’m not convinced about.

Firstly, I’m not convinced that My Fitness Pal is playing with a straight bat when it tells me I burn one thousand and ninety calories doing sixty minutes of swimming. I mean, that’s a lot, right? When I work out at the Kingdom of Pain, or I walk or get on my bike I know exactly how many calories I’m burning because the technology on my wrist updates MFP without any help from me. It just knows. And in an hour’s circuit training or boxing I generally burn somewhere around five hundred, which leaves me red-faced and half dead at the end of the session.

Swimming is different. It’s not an exact science, mainly because my watch isn’t waterproof, so I have to manually add my swimming activity from the MFP database. And much as it pains me, since I’m not in training for the next olympics I’m not convinced I can burn that many calories doing an hour of gentle breast stroke. I mean, old people overtake me as I’m pootling up and down the swim lanes dreaming about what I might scoff with the one thousand and ninety extra calories I’m racking up. Or not, as the case may be. I get out of the water feeling like I’ve worked, but I’m relaxed and nowhere near half dead.

I pottered about a bit on line yesterday and the consensus seems to be that it’s probably nearer six hundred calories an hour. Which is still awesome, but it’s not one thousand and ninety is it? So I’ve probably eaten a fair few ghost calories this week, which will almost certainly have contributed to my failure to move the needle.

Secondly, whilst I hesitate to go against God of Pain’s counsel, I’m thinking I might be better off setting my daily calorie allowance a little bit higher, but not eating the additional calories I’m earning from exercise. I’m nervous about taking away the carrot if I’m honest…the promise of earning a few thousand extra calories over the course of the week motivates me to put in the work because I know it means more food. I wonder if I’ll be able to maintain the same level of enthusiasm if I know it’s not going to result in extra portions..?

Time will tell I suppose. I’ve reset the numbers and I’m going to give it a go. There’s too much effort going into all this for me to just stand still, right?

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Keeping All My Balls In The Air

Well despite the eye-bags, which by the way seem to have taken up permanent residence and have become a mini obsession, I pretty much survived my first week back at work. I can’t even tell you how glad I am to see the weekend though, I’m knackered. Actually now I think about it, that might account for my puffy eyes, but whatever the root cause is, I’m not taking this overnight ageing malarkey lying down.

The miracle face mask hasn’t arrived yet, but as I write this I have some under-eye gel pads doing their thing, and there are at least three pots of eye cream lined up for when these bad boys come off. I’m surprised I didn’t slide out of bed, I was that greased-up when I went to sleep last night.

I think my whole regime needs a bit of an overhaul to be honest. I’m on fairly solid ground now with the food side of things, but as I was busy patting myself on the back for reaching ten days of food sobriety I started reflecting on everything else I know I should be doing, and realised that I’m dropping balls left right and centre.  I’ve relapsed with my water intake again and although I’m getting a fair bit of exercise in, I’m definitely not getting enough sleep.

It’s not the first time that I’ve narrowed my focus to the point that I’ve seen the world through tunnel vision. It’s kind of the way I’m wired, you know? I get so focused on the job in hand that shit can be flying around my ears and I just don’t see it. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been so focused on calories in and calories out, I’ve forgotten all about a bunch of other stuff, including staying hydrated.

Now, sometimes it’s okay to target one hundred percent of the available effort on one thing. It’s a bit like a laser beam, right? It’s specific and intense and accurate. And it gets the job done although it’ll burn you if you leave it switched on too long. I really needed that intense light shining on my food plan because I was out of control, and it’s worked in so much as I’ve wrestled control back and I’m feeling calmer. But now my body’s thirsty.

Which, according to Doctor Google, can cause all manner of havoc, including giving me puffy eyes…well, go figure. I pounced on that nugget of information immediately and today’s two litre minimum is already measured out and waiting for me.

I also stayed away from home on Wednesday evening, so I could have dinner with a friend of mine and wake up nearer to where I needed to be for some meetings yesterday morning. As I opened my toilet bag, out fell my little packet of Thyroxine pills, which I take for my underactive thyroid. Whoops. I packed them when I went into hospital for my surgery and haven’t thought about them since, because they were tucked out of sight.

Which might account for me being so tired.

Ya think???

What a dumbass. I’d be the first to admit I’m often guilty of not fitting in enough sleep but I stack the odds of being knackered even higher when I take away the only thing that drives my metabolism. Add that to the fact that I’ve been trying to squeeze  in around an hour of swimming every day as well as building up my walking, doing my physio, pulling all the stuff together for this writer’s workshop next week and easing myself back into work, not to mention running around after my mum…there’s no fucking wonder I’ve got bags under my eyes, right?

So. Food plan, check. Water, check. Exercise, check. Pills, check. It’s practically the weekend…time to relax. Catch up on some sleep. Get my shit together.

I’m on it! 🙂

 

 

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