A Moment Of Flirtation

Is it just me, or does January seem to be whizzing past us at warp speed? I can’t believe we’re in the last week already, and I honestly don’t know where the time went. Last week was a wretched one. We’ve had trouble with our drains at home and the kitchen flooded twice. Okay, I’m being a drama queen, I mean I didn’t have furniture floating past me or anything but I did have to keep mopping up water when it all blew back up the pipes because it couldn’t find its way outside, and the drain people had to come out three times before it was finally fixed.

I feel like I’ve been tested, you know? I can think of numerous examples of domestic crises in the past  which I navigated with the help of yellow pages and a packet of hob-nobs, but I’m happy to report that on this occasion I didn’t compound an already shit week by falling off my food plan. That’s progress, right? In spite of my heroic efforts, Shitbird scale awarded me a very measly three quarters of a pound yesterday, but in light of my big loss the week before I’m taking it on the chin…it’s better than nothing.

There was an incident last night…a moment of flirtation between me and a box of chocolate covered donuts. Which incidentally I don’t even like. That’s the reason they were in my kitchen in the first place…my boy put a request in for chocolate when I went shopping, so I took great care to bring treats that I wouldn’t generally cross the road for. I’m on day 22 of my quest to spend my food budget on healthy choices, and not a single bite of anything naughty has passed my lips since I glued the wheels back on after Christmas.

So I didn’t bring home anything that would tempt me. I brought him chocolate-covered donuts instead because I’m immune to their charms. Except last night, I wasn’t. As I wiped down the kitchen counter, I must have stood and stared at that box of donuts for a good five minutes, wondering how they would taste if I took a bite out of one of them. Just one bite. There was nothing else at all in the house which could have led me towards the danger zone – trust me I mentally rifled through every cupboard just to make sure – and all of a sudden those fucking donuts looked like the most appealing treat I’d ever seen. I don’t care for them, but I was desperate to eat one.

I didn’t though. The moment passed. Wave two hit me when I’d been in bed for about half an hour, and the house was quiet. The asshole voice tried his level best to talk me into going back downstairs and moving in for the kill. You’ve proved you can do it now, you’re totally in control. So you can choose to have one now, and that would be okay…

He got nowhere. It’s funny isn’t it…my mind wanted the donut, even though my mouth doesn’t particularly like the taste. Weirdo, who does that?

Actually, not me 🙂

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6 thoughts on “A Moment Of Flirtation

  1. Man oh man, that sub-sonic voice calling my name the length of the house.

    I get that you resolutely selected the gooey indulgence for the house, that you have a proven resistance to. When family members were here, playing games & bonding, I put out dip with crackers that I won’t eat. Yup, still taste like chewing matted hay, & yes, that Monday’s food budget was savaged & my New Year is 2 days shorter than yours. W.T.F.

  2. Anyone who has fought this battle has been tempted by the only item around, even if it wasn’t a favorite. That’s why i say that sugar was always my drug of choice, it is like a drug. In speaking to someone who works with addicts, he told me all addicts have one “most effective reward” but they will take something else if their MER isn’t available. Sugar in some forms (like most chocolate mixed with fruit) doesn’t appeal to me as much, but in a full blown addiction moment, i would take it if it were the only choice.

  3. What a aggravating week you had with the plumbing in your house! That’s enough to make a lot of us want to eat to soothe our stress good job refraining from that it doesn’t help.
    Glad you survived your temptation scare. Good job on your weigh in any loss is a good one sometimes even maintaining is a victory! Here’s to another good week!

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